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THE STRINGPOINT GROUP

"I feel excited and guilty at the same time"

Tuesday

Of course, the note can only be from one person: from Pauline. It's normal enough for that. But the worst part is: I didn't do anything. I'm constantly trying to stay away from Mark. Okay, that bare-breasted photo may have been over the edge, but that was only in response to a text from him. I feel restless. I'm not really happy with Foppe. And especially the sex with him is crap.

There is nothing for it but to call Pauline to ask if she put the note under my windshield wiper. But he reacts in surprise. “I wouldn't know what kind of car you have exactly and moreover I don't stoop to this kind of childish actions. Are you sure Josien isn't behind this? Of course, he will never believe that you no longer see Mark at all.”

I immediately want to know if she sees Mark often, but she denies that. “Believe me, our last date was weeks ago. He has already canceled a few times and I don't feel like having to play second fiddle all the time. He's a nice guy and nice in bed, but I'm thinking more and more about calling it a day. I would rather have a man for myself. You are quite right to let him go.”

I think of Foppe and feel guilty. He is super sweet to me and carries me on his hands. In the meantime I think more and more often to secretly create an Only Fans account with his nude photos on it in order to earn money with it. And I also think about Mark way more often than is good for me. I sigh and then send Mark a photo of the note in question, asking if this is Josien's handwriting.

"Yes," Mark texts back. ’ How very annoying. I'm afraid she saw your breast picture. Can I buy you dinner on Thursday to make up for it?” I think. Is it such a good idea to meet up with Mark? Probably not. But I am very much looking forward to it. So against my better judgement, I say yes.

Thursday

I apply a very thick layer of makeup to slightly cover up the bags under my eyes. I slept so damn bad again. I move my face closer to the mirror. And then I see it. I'm getting a mustache. I see a thin layer of dark fuzz on my upper lip. And if I look even closer, I also see dark hairs on my chin. I grab my tweezers wildly, but I can't get all the hairs out. Maybe I should make an appointment with the beautician to get waxed.

“You look good,” says Mark a few hours later at the Hilton when he first helps me out of my coat and then pulls up my chair. I almost forgot how wonderful it is when a man is so gallant. Foppe really wouldn't get that into his head and moreover he always wants to split the bill. “You have lost weight. Is that the intention? And you also seem a little tired.”

I dismiss his comments under the guise of 'hard work' and 'Ella is busy'. Then he says that I really shouldn't lose weight anymore because he thinks my curves are sexy. The opposite of Foppe, who prefers to see me as muscular and trained as possible and wants me to eat as healthy and vegan as possible. If only he knew that I take forbidden pills to lose weight.

Mark orders a bottle of white wine and a bowl of appetizers. I enjoy it. And then he asks how I feel. "Hunted, worked up and unhappy," I think. 'My sex life is bad and my job is dead boring.' But I say: 'Fine. Everything is going well. And how are you doing?"

He puts his hand on mine and says, “Very well. But I missed you very much.” He clears his throat and says: “It would be nice if we could talk undisturbed for a while. I rented a room. Would you like to go upstairs with me?" I think and then nod. It's super stupid, of course, but there's nothing I want more than to be in Mark's arms right now.

As soon as we're in the room, Mark takes off my dress. Then he unclips my bra and throws it on the floor. He sucks on my nipple until it tingles. Then he gently bites my nipple and strips me of the rest of my clothes. He picks me up and puts me on the bed. Then he quickly undresses himself and spreads my legs. Caressing my clitoris with his thumb, he slowly penetrates me. Then he quickly picks up the pace. My goodness, this feels good.

“Sex with your ex is the best thing there is,” he says when we are satisfied next to each other. His gaze is full of desire. I feel excited and guilty at the same time. I realize that we are both cheating hard now. Foppe would hate it if he knew this. I try not to think about him. I just want to enjoy this feeling and this moment. I bend my face towards him and kiss him hard. Our tongues lick each other in pleasure.

Mark strokes my hair out of my face. Then he asks if I'm still taking the pill. Shit. I hadn't thought about contraception at all. And to be honest, I've left the pill in the strip for a few days. Foppe and I don't get along anyway and I wanted to know if all those weird heart palpitations and hot flashes could be due to an early menopause. I am thinking. Ella will be three next week. She could use a little brother or sister.

I smile at him. "The pill? Of course I swallow it. Do not worry!"

© The Stringpoint Group

 

bron: de Telegraaf

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